The Notre Dame faithful are about to descend upon Sin City (or the Holy Land, depending on how one looks at the world). Irish fans of all ages, shapes and sizes are eagerly awaiting this Shamrock Series event in Vega$ against BYU.

As a courtesy to the fans who are making their travel plans, we prepared this handy 18 Stripes Vegas travel guide to match the type of fan you are to the best Las Vegas hotel for you. These recommendations are made with love and are the product of years of experience (and mistakes). You can thank us later.

Vegas Veterans

We’ll start off with those who know what they are doing, even if they don’t need our advice. They have certain expectations for their Las Vegas trips and know the lay of the land. We’ll break them up into two groups:

Old Division

The group has had a lot of vacation and convention experience in Vegas. They want a nice meal, some time at a pool cabana, a nice cup of coffee in the morning at Palio, and they certainly don’t want to rub elbows with tourists drinking a yard of some drink from Fat Tuesday.  Our old veterans stay at Bellagio and will be wearing tasteful Notre Dame gear from the expensive part of the catalog. They may or may not go to the game.

Young Division

They have more-or-less the same experience as the Old Division, but are young enough to consider going to clubs. They still have some wild in them, or at least they think they do. You will find them at the Wynn.

Those Who Know They Ain’t Making it to the Game

There are plenty of fans who understand Las Vegas and recognize there is zero chance they are making it to the game. Rather than lie to themselves that they are spending the afternoon at Allegiant, they are making dinner plans to go to some cool Asian restaurant on Spring Mountain Road before they go see the TYGA concert.  You will find these people at Cosmopolitan wearing expensive shirts.

Outdated Website Cranks

The Internet Age has given Notre Dame fans all sorts of forums to discuss Our Lady’s team. Some believe the best place for their thoughts is in an aimless message board thread. Most of these internet poets won’t attend a Shamrock Series game and will tell you why in an exchange of incomplete sentences. Those that do go can be found at the Flamingo, which has a carpet as outdated as the layout of their favorite forum.

Las Vegas Newbies

Not all Las Vegas hotels are created equal, and until you’ve been there, you won’t understand “4 stars near the Strip” is a phrase subject to varied interpretations. We can instruct the Vegas newbies not to trust the five cheapest hotels listed when searching Travelocity for 4* near the stadium, but its unlikely they will listen.  As such, our Notre Dame Vegas newbies will congregate at the Oyo Hotel on Tropicana (f/k/a Hooters Hotel f/k/a The San Remo).  The good news is that they will realize the error of their ways quickly and spend most of their time at nearby resorts where one cannot gamble on chickens playing tic-tac-toe. They will make it to the game, but will be very late having made the rookie mistake of misjudging the time it takes to walk to Allegiant.

Gambling Degenerates

Vegas remains true to its gambling roots even if it is unrecognizable from its Rat Pack days. Some traveling to the game consider themselves old school gamblers, and they chafe at what Las Vegas has become. You will find them at Caesar’s Palace shooting dice in its classic Palace casino. Where you will not find them is at the game, as by then they will be chasing losses playing 100x odds at the smokey Casino Royale across the street.

Message Board Meetups

Notre Dame destination football games are a great opportunity for message board friends to meet up IRL. The BYU game is no different. The problem with these meetups is that they are usually organized by the person in the group who has no idea what they are doing, and the other members dutifully go along with it. This is why you will find these groups staying at Planet Hollywood, because the organizer saw Criss Angel there during a bachelorette party. All is not lost, as these groups will figure out that down the street they can day drink to excess at The Park near T-Mobile. A good time will be had, drinking will be unreasonable, and they will miss the game because after 10 beers someone had the idea they should go to the LV Knights game instead.

Lovers of Notre Dame Travel Packages

When alumni reach a certain age, they develop a deep love for travel packages. No judgments, this group consistently has a good time even if we don’t understand it. Where they will be is no secret – MGM Grand. You will find them leaving Mass with Fr. Jenkins in the convention center and waiting in line to board luxury coach buses for the 10 minute drive to the stadium. This group will go to the game and will generally have great seats. Late that night you will find them catching a Cirque du Soleil show. They will board their return flight home well rested and can’t comprehend why the rest of us are sucking down $15 bottles of Gatorade at the airport.

Run the Damn Ball

If you think Notre Dame would have won six more national championships if they rehired Lou Holtz and put five fullbacks on the field, please report to The Orleans. In lieu of attending the game, you will teach the veer to the peewees at the adjacent Charlie Frias Park.

Trapped in the 1980s

This militant subgroup of Run the Damn Ball pines for the days when ND ran the option with a dozen NFL-ready tailbacks. Leading into this weekend of fun, they are the wet blanket telling all who will listen that they lost interest in Notre Dame and will not be going as they have better things to do on Saturdays.  Evidently, these “better things to do” include writing lengthy screeds about Tommy Rees and that FieldTurf was invented by communists. We suspect a handful may make their way to the desert and will stay at 1980’s hotspot Tropicana, if only to complain to their keno parlor attendant in their tattered Catholics v. Convicts shirt that under no circumstances will they go across the street to watch the game.

Lost in the Desert

There are fans who really want to see the game, but are conflicted by the commercial excesses of Las Vegas. Fortunately, the glorious Red Rock Canyon is but a short drive from the strip. The vibrant colors, cool, clean air, and the wide open spaces are a true delight for nature lovers. You will find these friends at the Red Rock campground. Where you will not find them is at the game, because they misjudged the length of the hike to Ice Box Canyon.

Recruitniks

A large and motivated group within the Notre Dame community is the recruiting-obsessed. These fans cannot understand why we don’t land every 5-star from Bishop Gorman, or some phenom from Desert Pines. These fans will venture into the Vegas suburbs with NIL dreams, and will be devastated to find out our Notre Dame facilities are a downgrade from those at Gorman.  Our recruiting experts will stay at a hotel run by the family of our favorite Irish targeting penalty, and will likely miss the game to attend some MMA event.  They will stay at the very nice Red Rock.

Board of Trustees

The Board does not have time for your nonsense.  You will not see them, they will not see you.

All About the Football

There are fans who enjoy entering the stadium as soon as it opens. They like critiquing warmups, love the band, and can’t stand to miss a minute of the action. They deserve our respect as they are there until the final whistle even when the Irish are on the wrong end of a beat down. If you draw a straight line from the airport terminal to Allegiant, we’re not sure they’ll venture 100 yards off of it except for maybe a side quest to In-N-Out. You will find this group at Luxor, irritated that the slightly closer Mandalay Bay is sold out. They will definitely be at the game and super excited that it’s a short walk from the hotel.

Young Alums Who Couldn’t Find A Babysitter

There will be a group of young alums who are eager to go to Shamrock Series weekend but find out that grandma can’t watch the kids that weekend. In a panic, they will buy into 90’s era Vegas “family destination” marketing. These families will book a room at the Stratosphere after seeing the exciting amusement rides high upon its tower. While Stratosphere has a lot of great rides, it also has a lot of fentanyl. These visitors will miss the game. Kickoff time will conflict with their appointment to give a statement to DFACS.

Sports Gamblers

Sports gambling is far more accessible than it used to be, but there are fans for whom the allure of dozens of giant TVs at the sports book is simply irresistible.  Las Vegas is the home of excess, and for these fans they have the sports gambling mecca of Circa. These fans will miss the game to instead watch dozens of games simultaneously while standing waist-deep in a pool warmed by other people’s pee. #GoIrish

Downtown Absurdists

There is an alarming trend among young alums and Californians to stay at Downtown Las Vegas hotels. While Downtown has a lot to offer, including great bars, music and food, there is no reason to stay there. Those that do are normally observed tending to their bedbug wounds and wondering what convinced them to use the 50OFF discount code for the Golden Gate.  They will not be at the game either because it’s a $50 Uber ride or because they are at the Emergency Room, or both.

Weis and Early-Kelly Era Alums

The emotional wounds linger. They are excited for this Las Vegas game, but don’t want to be hurt again. They want to be part of the fun, but struggle to commit fully. You will find them off-strip at the perfectly fine South Point.

Canadians

Our Notre Dame family in Canada, like 18 Stripes film guru Larz, will get down to business. One does not drive 1500 miles from Edmonton and then stay five miles up the Strip. No sir, our friends from the Great White North are staying at the closest place to Allegiant possible, the Hotel Galaxy.  Being polite Canadians, they won’t even complain if they have to wait an extra 30 minutes for the coroner to clear their room. They will certainly be at the game, although occasionally confused by fourth downs and the tiny end zones.

Ready for a Mid-Life Party

Some of our Notre Dame friends started families young and had to listen to their roommates drone on and on about wild weekends in Vegas as they struggle to help their kids learn new math strategies. Their kids are now out of the house, and now it’s their time to fly too close to the sun. The problem is that the only thing they know about Vegas is what they remember from MTV’s The Real World, and that was a long time ago. As such, you will find them at the The Palms looking for Trishelle.  A few too many beers the night before has them opting for a spa treatment and IV hydration at the suggestion of their kids instead of going to the game. A wise move by those with earned parental wisdom.

18s Paddock Club

Our zeal for the 2023 Formula One race has us scouting every turn. Life and limb will be risked staying at the Ellis Island Casino, the closest hotel to the back straightaway. Half of us will make it to the game, the other half, sadly, murdered by vagrants in the hotel parking lot.

“Fans” who take out full page ads in the Observer

For fans who are done with Shamrock Series foolishness and don’t understand why Notre Dame would give up an afternoon home football weekend, we have the place for you.  You are unlikely to run into any fans overly enthusiastic about the Freeman era.  In fact, if you play your cards right, you won’t run into any Notre Dame fans at all. As an added bonus, the lobby restaurant offers a delightful $4.99 steak dinner for your post-game festivities, and it’s about the same distance away as Chicago is from South Bend. The Railroad Pass Casino will welcome you.

Sundries

Because we are Notre Dame, we can’t forget to remind you The Shrine of the Most Holy Redeemer is directly across the street from Luxor, and Guardian Angel Cathedral is next door to Encore (and conveniently located next to the Peppermill Lounge for post-mass lunch and cocktails, Vegas gonna Vegas).

Jokes aside, Las Vegas is a great time, and a game here is a treat for Notre Dame fans.  Have a good time and enthusiastically “Go Irish” your fellow fans.  Most importantly, tip any waitresses and dealers in Irish gear lavishly and excessively.  They are wearing it for you, treat them right.

Safe travels and enjoy Las Vegas!

#GoIrish