“You ain’t trying to get better, man.”
More than any other episode of the now lost Chocolate News videos–once uploaded to the Notre Dame Athletics YouTube page–this quote has always stuck with me. Louis Nix, the larger than life personality who was on campus from 2010-13, dubbed himself ‘Irish Chocolate’ and provided fans from all over the country an insight into his infectious personality with these treasure-trove videos.
In this particular video, Nix repeats the line a few times as tagging along teammates are trying to grab honey buns and other delicious but unhealthy snacks from a local supermarket. The line has been permanently lodged in my brain for the irony that no one struggled with their weight (officially listed at 350 pounds as a freshman and reportedly heavier than that at times) as much as Nix, but more importantly, no one at Notre Dame has been so publicly willing to share their struggles with getting better and making it for themselves.
Saturday evening, Jacksonville police found the car of the former Irish nose guard in a pond near his apartment and hours later confirmed that Nix had passed away at the age of 29 years old. As of this writing, there are precious few details being reported nor any cause of death.
The truth is Nix was a mini-legend before he even enrolled as the lineman would commit to Notre Dame after the firing of Charlie Weis and before the hiring of Brian Kelly. I recall an early interview with him in which he mentioned as a high schooler beginning to be recruited that he didn’t know anything about Notre Dame or where the school was located. As fans, we so often get caught up in legacies coming back home to the Irish, or recruits who have professed their love to Notre Dame since they were small, while wincing and second-guessing many other kids who may not fit in well on campus.
Naturally, Nix struggled in his freshman 2010 season while juggling the massive cultural change, schoolwork, and of course managing his size. However, it didn’t take long for us to find out that Nix’ personality was as big as anyone on the team, that he was carving out an identity on campus, and that he was going to be the future at his position in 2011.
On the field, Nix would not disappoint. Anchoring the middle of the defense as the War Daddy in Bob Diaco’s 3-4 scheme he would be the impenetrable force holding the group together and the key cog in keeping opponents away from star linebacker Manti Te’o on the Hawaiian’s run to a Heisman runner-up finish in 2012.
It’s fair to say that many remember Nix for his personality first but he was an absolute freak on the football field, too. Even at 330 or 340 pounds he was blessed with a shocking amount of athleticism. He had the ability to eat space and take on double teams as good as anyone in the country but still move like someone closer to 260 pounds. Plus, Nix absolutely hustled his ass off. The quintessential play from him in my mind is watching Nix tango with two offensive linemen and still run to the sidelines to be near a tackle with the linebackers.
This is the play. Nix takes on a double team, fights across the line & pops the ball out of Denard’s arm.
Nix was a fantastic personality & so charming. He was also absurdly talented on the field. Many prayers to his family. RIP. pic.twitter.com/7q1zaccmW1
— € Murt (@EMMurtaugh) February 28, 2021
Nix would switch to No. 1 as a redshirt junior in 2013 voluntarily giving up his No. 9 to incoming 5-star sensation Jaylon Smith. I choose to remember Nix in the No. 9 during his prime run with the Irish.
However, the personality of Irish Chocolate would begin to outweigh Louis Nix the player as he was criticized for being out of shape following the highs of 2012 which in retrospect seems unfair given the knee injury that kept him out of 5 of the last 6 games in 2013. Nix would be near his best in the defensive battle on October 19, 2013 in a win over USC but it would be his last major contribution to the program. The Irish would falter twice more later that season ultimately finishing 9-4, and coming off a National Championship Game appearance, it all felt like the wrong way for everything to end in this once happy era of football.
A series of knee injuries would cut Nix’ pro career short before it even began. A 3rd round pick (83rd) overall by Houston in the 2014 NFL Draft he was placed on Injured Reserve as a rookie and then waived by the Texans before the 2015 season. Over the next 3 seasons, Nix would be signed, cut, and waived by the New York Giants, Washington Football Team, and his hometown Jacksonville Jaguars while effectively being retired over the past 4 seasons.
When Nix left Notre Dame it was assumed that the affable big man would one day get into media and use his heart-warming and funny personality in a public career in front of cameras. However, not after long Nix’ social media would slow down as his professional football career floundered. For all the sunshine he gave to those around him this type of career where Notre Dame fans could continue being a part of Nix’ life didn’t work out exactly that way.
On December 8th, Nix survived a robbery attempt in Jacksonville as he was fixing a tire on his car. After a brief scare, he appeared to recover well but the bullet was still lodged in his lung and the incident was extremely serious even after leaving the hospital. Last night, Eric Hansen from the South Bend Tribune published an article with more details on the aftermath of this shooting with quotes from Nix:
“I went out shopping with my girl to get my mom a birthday gift, and it was crazy. You wouldn’t think you’d feel like that, but I was just paranoid being around people. People coming up from behind me, coming out of nowhere. I felt like I just needed to see everything, and it was kind of emotional in the moment. I didn’t think it’d be like this. My job (Cintas Corp.) is going to provide a therapist for me, and I’m open to talking about this issue. Hopefully, they’ll help me get past that point and learn how to deal with it, because at this point, I really don’t want to leave the house again.”
It’s incredibly sad. I don’t know if Nix was happy living back in Jacksonville or with his post-football career. He talked so much about ‘getting out’ of Jacksonville but was back living there as he was approaching his 30’s. In the beginning of Hansen’s article Nix asks if ‘he mattered’ in life beyond football and reading that brings me to tears. It forces us to grapple with the somber reality that getting into Notre Dame, playing football at a high level, graduating with your class, and showing the world such a bubbly personality isn’t necessarily a golden ticket to happiness and fulfillment after college.
Louis Nix, “Irish Chocolate,” we carry these memories until we see you again 🙏 pic.twitter.com/ndTZ9DeaQP
— Brian Kelly (@CoachBrianKelly) February 28, 2021
Among early-era Brian Kelly players who have passed away recently, Nix joins Kona Schwenke, Greg Bryant, Taylor Dever and both George Atkinson III and Josh Atkinson. All gone way too early.
The death of Nix hurts so much precisely because we knew him so well and that he gave so much of his self while peeling back the curtain and showing his struggles and personal doubts throughout a promising career. With his humor in tow Nix was the most human Notre Dame player I can remember, someone who, despite his massive size was incredibly relatable to fans who would never be given his physical gifts but who could nonetheless understand the difficulties trying to carve out a better life for themselves and their family.
Rest in Peace, Louis.
Heartbreaking. I can’t think of another player who was a star at ND and willing to give so much of himself to the fans. Damn.
Very nice article. Nix posting that IG video after being shot because he thought he was going to die was very harrowing and scary. I can only imagine the trauma he went through. I loved to see the response though with a what seemed like a successful go fund me campaign and lots of old teammates stepping up. Was really hoping that would be the lasting positive from the ordeal. This just sucks, such a shame and so sad.
I pray for him to be at peace and for all of his family and friends in this tough time. This really sucks.
This was a great summary of how heart wrenching this conclusion is for a guy who brought so much joy to so many of us. From committing to ND on Tony Alford’s recommendation while we didn’t even have a head coach to overcoming some serious culture shock as the 1st person from his FL HS to EVER attend ND to his blossoming as a sheer force both on the field & via traditional+social media Big Lou was as good an ND story as there was. I wish we could have given back to him just a shred of the joy he gave to us :-/
I also wanted to add Matt James to the list of gone too soon as he committed to BK before passing away from an accident. Hopefully we can all take it as another reminder to reach out to folks as so many are struggling w/ mental health challenges right now during the pandemic which unfortunately may only exacerbate the opioid epidemic too many have suffered from already. Don’t put off telling your friends & family what they mean to you <3
The piece you mentioned with Hansen really hits home with me. I’ll be honest and say that I felt similar things coming out of my time on campus (which ironically or whatever coincided with Nix’s) and going back home seemingly stuck. After much reflection both last night and this morning I am reminded of Robin Williams in terms of someone who had such a bubbly personality but was so troubled and so wrought with deep-seated depressive emotions. Just a general reminder to anyone out there to anyone who reads this and feels similar to what Nix felt. You matter. You are worth it. RIP Louis.
Robin Williams came up in my wife’s and my discussion of Big Lou the other night too. Like you say, we would do well to remember that smiles can hide deep sadness, and be open to opportunities to listen to a person’s heart.
And to anyone who carries such sadness, the world needs you in it. You make a difference every day even if it doesn’t feel like you do. You have value.
Well done E. And rest easy, Louis. I hope you get to pet a bunch of moose now.
Thanks for a very well-written tribute. RIP Louis
Truly beautifully written, Eric — and thanks to all of your comments above. Yes, we should all be aware of those shadows that can hide behind even the sunniest seeming exteriors.
On a remembrance note: I have never forgotten Manti shouting at him in the locker room after one of those great victories in 2012, “You can’t be blocked, Louis — no one can block you!”
The closest I ever came to him physically was during warmups before the National Championship against Alabama. Remember he had been rumored to have had some hamstring issues; anyway, he came down by himself with a trainer to the corner where my son and I were sitting, and they stretched and stretched one of those massive legs of his for a really long time. I remember thinking that was not a great indicator… because Louis was, as Eric indicates, a truly crucial part of that squad. It wasn’t his or Manti’s greatest game, though I guess that Bama O-line had something to do with it… but he literally didn’t quit for a second.
A very very sad moment.
This sucks. I was not optimistic when the initial missing person report came out, but still, just terrible.
As a player and person he was one of my 5 favorite players in the last 20 years, and as a person my favorite. I have followed one athlete on Twitter since I first joined Twitter and it was Louis nix. He was great. His banter during the Rutgers bowl game was classic.
This whole thing sucks so much and as alluded to here there had just been so much premature death in the program the last decade. If this is a suicide I really hope the Nd program uses their platform to help support their athletes and people all over with mental health issues. Between the atkinson twins and Louis it’s three too many. My heart breaks for his parents and those he left behind.
I don’t follow many athletes, either. The only ND players I think I follow are Big Lou and Brady Quinn.